Letters from the Past
by Ducky82
Summary: Present day Sybil looks into the story of her Great, great grandparents love. Along the way she meets someone who might just change her life. Spoilers for Season 3
1. Chapter 1

_Hi, i'm not new to fanfic, but this is my first Tom Sybil story, it is a kind of therapy after what has happened, I keep telling myself they are fictional but it's not helping. I hope you enjoy this first part and sorry for any mistakes, this was done late at night. It's set in modern times but as you will see it will have spoilers for series 3._

Family had always been important to Sybil. She came from a family with a rich history, an aristocratic one; one which contained lords and ladies. What she loved most of all was that she came from the rebellious side of that family. She remembered as a child how her, great grandmother loved to tell Sybil the story of great, great grandparents marriage. How her great, great grandmother, Lady Sybil Crawley, who she was named for, had fallen in love with the chauffeur, Tom Branson and run off with him to Ireland, how they had married and had a child and be wonderfully happy.

It wasn't until much later that she found out the real story that her great, great grandmother had died shortly after giving birth not long into the marriage. Leaving Tom to raise the baby alone. She had been grateful to her for that, that she was able to live the fairy-tale at least for a while because let's face it the reality sucked.

It had been a few weeks since her great, grandmother, or gran gran as she had always known her as a little girl had, passed away. Which had left an ache in her heart that she never thought would heal. She knew she had had a good long and happy life but she missed their conversations and her stories about the family. Her great grandmother had gone quickly and Sybil had thought she missed her chance to say goodbye. It wasn't until her parents were sorting out her things, that they found the box with Sybil's name on it, left by her great grandmother. In it she found a stack of letters, one of which was addressed to her.

_Dear Sybil,_

_My darling girl, I guess if you are reading this then I am gone. I hope it was quick, you know how I always hated to hang around passed my welcome. I suppose you are wondering what this letter is about, why I am spookily writing to you from beyond the grave._

_The stack of letters you are holding in your hands are from your great, great grandparents and also maybe some others. I know you always loved their story and now I want you to discover it for yourself. I know you have known for some time the true ending rather than the fairy tale I painted, that I grew up without a mother, but I had a wonderful da who told me about her every day and reminded me that she was watching over us. When I was older enough he gave me these letters so I could experience it for myself. And now I pass them on to you. Remember it is not about how it ended sad as it was, but about how it came to be, how I came to be and the magic of that._

_I ask you to do this because I worry for you, I worry that you won't open your heart to let the world in. I don't know why but you seem content to let life happen to you, rather than grasping it with both hands. To let others make decisions for you that you should be making for yourself, you know of which I speak. I hope that by discovering their story, her story you will see that the world can be very different if you let it, that nothing is set in stone and that you must always, always follow your heart as she did and fight for what you believe in as he did._

_I hope you are not angry with me, I don't wish to part on bad terms, but I'm dead now so I can say what I like and I had to say something my darling, be happy and live true. Remember I will always, always be watching over you._

_All my love_

_Gran Gran_

It was because of this that Sybil found herself standing outside the local records office, she wanted to fulfil her Gran Gran's wishes although she didn't see how it could make a difference in her own life, from what she could see nothing was wrong. Okay so life was mundane, there was no big love affair and maybe she was settling. But not everybody got experience the kind of love her great, great grandparents had and to be honest look where it got them. But she still wanted to know their story and do this final thing for Gran Gran. First however she needed to do some research. If she was going to understand the letters she needed to be clear on the family tree, Gran Gran would have grown up with them, so would know anybody mentioned, Sybil wasn't so clear and her mother had been no help.

'Oh, I don't know darling, never really interested me, I wouldn't know where to start, maybe try the library or something'

Hence the records office, she entered and approached the assistant at the desk.

'Good morning, I was wondering if you could help me, I'm looking into my family tree and want to see records, births, marriages, that sort of thing for around the start of the 20th Century. Names of Crawley or Branson'

'You know you are the second person to ask for that just this morning, chap's still here I'm afraid, so I guess you will need to wait.'

'I don't have long, I came in my lunch hour, maybe you could point them out to me and I could see if they are willing to share.' She gave her most flirtatious smile hoping to sway him.

'I shouldn't really….'

'Oh please you would be doing me a great favour'

'Ok he sitting over there by the window, but you didn't hear it from me'

'Your secret is safe with me' she said giving him a wink.

As she approached the desk, she studied the man wondering how best to play it, he was young from what she could see a few years older than her, with light brown hair, as she reached the desk she gave a little cough to get his attention and was greeted with a pair of the bluest eyes she had ever seen. For a moment she was slightly thrown lost in thought, until a voice with a slight Irish accent brought her back to reality.

'Sorry' she said shaking her head to wake it

'I was asking if I could help you?' he said with a hint of a smile on his lips

'Oh sorry, yes it appears we are looking into the same records, and I wondered if I could get a quick look at the records book you have, I don't have much time you see just my lunch break and…..'

'it's fine darling, I'm almost done, here take a look'

He passed her over the book and to her amazement found it was already on the Crawley pages.

'Oh, what a stroke of luck its already on Crawley' she said surprised

'Not really, I'm researching the Crawley's, well I'm actually researching my great, great grandfather's brother who married into the family but it's the same thing' he said with a shrug

She stared up at him wide eyed

'You are researching Tom Branson?' she asked

'Yeah well family history always held an appeal and when you share a name with someone it adds to the appeal'

'Share a name?' she asked still somewhat bemused.

'Sorry I guess I should introduce myself Tom, Tom Branson and you are?' he said reaching out his hand

'Oh yes me its Sybil, Sybil Crawley'

He started for a second

'Oh well that's more than a coincidence, isn't it' he said with a laugh.

End part 1

_Hope that was okay, have had this story going round in my head for a while, but realised when i sat down to write it that I hadn't planned how to start it so i'm not completely happy with it, any reviews are gratefully received._


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay next Chapter. This one is all modern day, I kinda thought each part would have a letter but this took on a life of its own. Hope its okay all mistakes are mine. Thanks to all the followers and reviewers, it good to know people have an interest in this story._

'Why do you keep staring at me?' she asked looking up from the records book, 'its kinda unnerving'

'Sorry' he said giving his head a shake.

Snap out of it, he thought, she going to think you are mental, you can hardly tell her you think she is gorgeous and that her voice is like melted treacle, which have been your only thoughts for the last fifteen minutes. You only just met, best not to come across as a complete stalker, think man, think you are staring because, staring because..

'You don't find it odd?' he puffed out quickly as his hormone induced coma lifted slightly

'Odd?' she said distracted by something on the page in front of her.

'You? Me?' he gestured between then 'Meeting here, the exact same names as the people we are looking into' she looked at him with a blank look. With disbelief he exclaimed 'No? Nothing?'

'Well I guess' she looked up as if considering his question. 'if you put it like that, it is a little strange, but the way I see it is, you come from the Branson side of the family, one which each generation was male, hence you still being a Branson.'

'Well I yes' he answered slowly

'And Tom guessing... family name, named through the generations, as Sybil is in mine?'

'Correct but still doesn't account for the Crawley, you shouldn't be a Crawley not that you should be a Branson either but' He knew he was babbling but he couldn't quite seem to shake the effect she was having on him.

She smiled up at him, he's cute when he's flustered she thought and it seemed to bring out his accent more.

'Oh but that's the easy bit' she said with a laugh 'My mother married my Father, he had the surname Crawley, no relation believe me its been checked, so here I am Sybil Crawley, I guess it is kinda strange when you think about, but its been my name my whole life.

'I still think it's a hell of a coincidence, but if you let it go I guess I can. I guess we should get back to this' motioning to the book. You find anything out?'

'Well from what I can work out. Sybil and Tom married and had Gran Gran'

'Sorry Gran Gran?'

'Sorry' she said blushing 'their daughter my great grandmother, Sybil Branson. I always called her Gran, Gran since I was little. I think great grandmother was a bit of a mouthful for a four year old and kinda impersonal don't you think?'

She didn't wait for an answer.

'Well, Gran, Gran is the reason i'm here really. She died recently and left me some letters of Tom and Sybil's. For some reason she wants me to learn about their lives. I don't know why really something about me not grasping on to the world or something, anyway' she said shaking her head 'you don't need to know about that, time for me to stop blabbering'

'You have letters?' He asked excitedly

'Yes why are you interested?'

'Well I hoped to find out about Tom but I expected to find facts and figures, it would be great to get some real insight in to who he was. I guess having the same name I have a kinship, I can't explain it really I just feel like I should know more about him'

'Look I've made a few notes on the Crawley side of the family, why don't we grab a coffee and we can exchange notes, I figured I needed to get the family straight in my head before reading the letters, in case they are mentioned.'

'Sure, but aren't you forgetting something'

She looked at him puzzled

'You were in a hurry, on your lunch break, shouldn't you be getting back to work?'

'Oh that' she said at least having the decency to look contrite.

'Yes that' the truth dawning

'Well I wanted to look at the records and you could have been hours'

'You always get your own way don't you?' he said with a laugh

'You have no idea, Mr Branson, no idea at all.' She said walking back towards the records desk.

Boy am I in trouble he thought following, but not before she was far enough in front so he could check out the view. Oh yeah deep, deep trouble.

They found a coffee shop not far from the records office and started to go through the notes. Tom's notes on the Branson side of the family were quite extensive but they soon realised that apart from showing that Tom Branson had been Tom's Great, Great, Great Uncle and of course Sybil's, Great, Great Grandfather, they weren't really going to tell them anything about the letters.

'Well as I was saying before Sybil and Tom had Gran, Gran, hey' she swotted his arms as he smirked at the use of the name. 'i've been using it all my life it's a difficult habit to break'

'I know' he said with a smile 'I think it's rather cute really'

Caught off guard by this she was mesmerised for a moment by the look in his eyes and although she knew she shouldn't held his gaze for a little longer than was needed.

'Anyway she said looking down at her notes. They had the baby and then she died. Which sucks, I mean you couldn't even write that could you, I tell you if I was writing their story it wouldn't end like that'

He reached across the table and took her hand, stroking it in a soothing gesture. She smiled across at him in thanks

'I know it's silly, that it all happened a long time ago, but it just seems so sad. God what am I going to be like after I have read the letters and know the full story. You must think I'm completely crazy'

'Not at all' he said then as if having second thoughts he said with a teasing smile 'Well maybe a little bit'

'Anyway' she said trying best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach brought on by his smile. Sybil was the youngest of three sisters. The others where Mary, the oldest and Edith. Their parents were Robert and Cora, Lord and Lady Grantham. Mary married Matthew Crawley who was the next in line to inherit, Downton Abbey where they lived, after quite a few convenient deaths' she said with a raised eye brow. I couldn't find anything on Edith's marriage, doesn't mean she didn't get married just wasn't in the records. I guess that's enough to go on at the moment. From what my Gran Gran told me, they spend the early part of their marriage in Ireland and then Tom got in to some trouble and they were forced to flee and stay at Downton

'Ireland was a dangerous place in those days, particularly for a revolutionary like Tom was' He didn't know why but he felt the need to defend his uncle. 'It's what interested me about him. From what I could gather he had great ideals but never seemed to fulfil them. I always wondered what changed. Should of known it was a woman, I guess his dream changed.'

'Look' she said finishing her coffee. 'I know we only just met and everything, but would you like to come to dinner tomorrow night at mine, i'll cook' she asked

'You don't beat around the bush do you?' he said jokingly

'Not like that you idiot' she tried to ignore the disappointment on his face while he tried to hide it quickly. 'I just meant you could come round and we could go through the first letter. I know I should just read them all and not drag it out. But my Gran, Gran wanted me to do this for a reason. I don't want to rush it. It's my last connection to her. When it's over it's like she is really gone.' She said with a sad smile. He was caressing her hand again; she tried to ignore the shockwaves just the small touch of his hand sent through her body.

This is stupid she thought, you barely even know him, but that was the old thing she felt as though she did, had felt a connection the moment she met his blue eyes.

'Are you sure it's wise, inviting a practical stranger back to your flat?' he questioned

'Well no it isn't but you are not a stranger, we are in fact related'

'Only very, very distantly'

'But related' she said with a smile

'And I repeat distantly'

'You seem very keen to make that point very clear, would there be a reason?' she flirted

'No, no' he tried to look innocent. 'No reason at all' he added with a grin. Holding her gaze, a little longer than necessary. He glanced down at his watch, 'Jesus, is that the time?' He jumped up as if brought back to reality. I'm sorry but I'm late, I've got to go. He grabbed a napkin and scribbled down his number. Text me your address and what time I should be there tomorrow.' He paused as if not knowing what to do, finally holding out his hand which led to rather embarrassing handshake. 'Well it was nice meeting you, I'll see you tomorrow' and with that he was off.

She watched him go, telling herself she wasn't admiring the view. She knew she shouldn't be doing this it wasn't fair, to him or to her. But there was something about him that just made her want to know more. She kept telling herself it was innocent. That they just held the same interests. But she knew she was lying and she knew she needed to be careful, before she got in too deep. She looked down at the napkin and reached into her bag for her phone.

He leaned against the wall just around the corner from the coffee shop. He hadn't lied he was late. But he had a few more minutes. He had needed to get out of there. Not because of her she was wonderful amazing, so amazing in fact it scared him. He had never met anyone like her, he needed to be careful, now was not the time to get involved. He had plans, plans that didn't involve sticky relationships. They always started off great but were messy in the end and they always ended. He told himself it was just a project, away to find out about his uncle, nothing more. He laughed at himself and shook his head.

Then why so hung up on the distantly related bit, eh, he thought

Just don't get in too deep. Yeah right no chance of that. With a smile and a shake of the head he took off as a familiar beep sounded in his pocket.

End Part 2

What did you think?


	3. Chapter 3

Okay here is the next part took me a while, but it's finally sorted. I hope I capture Sybil right in the letter let me know. I guess the modern characters are easier because in some ways you can go where you like with them. As ever thanks for the reviews you have no idea how much they mean.

She checked her hair and make-up in the mirror for what must have been the hundredth time. 'Oh come on' she thought to herself 'you're trying too hard, he just a friend, not even really that yet, you barely know him'

She checked the flat fluffing the cushions as she went, making herself busy. She always hated waiting. The first of the letters was sorted and sitting on the coffee table, take-away menus sitting by it. It was about as far as her offer to cook went. The buzzer went. 'Finally' she thought.' She pressed the speaker.

'Hello?' she asked

'Hello? Sybil?' His now familiar Irish tones blasted back at her, she smiled

'Yep, come right up, I'm on the third floor' she said hitting the button to unlock the door. Walking back past the mirror she smoothed her hair down one last time, scowling at herself as she realised what she was doing.

'Stop it' she said out loud eyeing herself in the mirror

At the knock she opened the door and was met by smiling blue eyes. She held her breath for a moment wondering if he would always have this effect on her.

'I brought a bottle' He said holding it out to her. 'Hope red's okay wasn't sure what we were having'

She took the bottle in her hands.

'Well, that would depend on what we are ordering. Believe me it's the best option, that or food poisoning.' She added with a laugh. 'I'll get a bottle opener for this and some glasses' she said holding up the bottle. 'Menus are in the living room on the table, take your pick'

He walked where she pointed, surveying the flat as he went.

'Nice place you have here' he called

'It's not bad' she said returning with two full glasses, handing one to him and taking a sip herself. 'Shame it not mine'

'Oh?' He asked eyebrows raised in question.

'Well it is and it isn't my father owns it and I live here, but as I didn't buy it with my own money I don't like to think of it as mine'

'Wish my father could buy me a flat'

'I'm not ungrateful, it just my Father's business did well so he could afford it. It doesn't do so well these days so who knows how long I keep it, but I do love it while I have it.'

They decided on Chinese, ordered and while they waited, Tom filled her in on his family and life back in Ireland.

'So do you live here permanently now?' she asked

'Well I studied at Liverpool Uni and kinda hung around while I decided what to do with my life.

'What did you study?'

'History and Politics'

'And what are you going to do with that?'

'I have my plans, they just haven't worked out yet so I keep them close to my chest'

'Arh a man of many secrets?' she asked with a smile

'Wouldn't you like to know' he joked

'I would actually' she said holding his graze a little too long.

She noticed him move towards her. 'He's going to kiss me; he's going to kiss me. Do I want him to kiss me? I think I want him to kiss me. Oh god I want him to kis..

The door bell rang bringing her back to reality, she let go the breath she didn't realise she was holding. 'That will be the take away, I should get that.' She rose from the sofa to open the door.

'Yes, yes you should' he said leaning himself back blinking as if waking from a dream.

'What are you doing man, don't get in too deep, this is a project. Five minutes in and you are already trying to kiss her. Though she did seem to want to kiss me, I think she wanted to kiss me, did she? God I wanted to kiss her.' He thought. Distance that was what was needed; he sat back on the sofa. 'Just need to keep my distance'

Sybil returned with the take away and two plates. She tried to hide her disappointment when she noticed his position on the sofa. 'He couldn't be further away if he tried' she thought 'It's for the best' rang hollow in her brain but she tried to ignore it.

They sat and ate in a comfortable, but notable silence, mainly because neither knew what say and neither trusted where it would lead.

When they had finished Sybil cleared the food away leaving the plates in the kitchen to deal with later.

'So I guess we should look at the letter then' she said refilling their wine glasses.

'Yeah, I can't believe you have them, it will give a real insight into what happened. I mean I know the basic story, but to actually hear about it from them'

'So how do we do this, do you want me to read it out? Would seem to be the easiest way.'

'That would work' He didn't add that he would happily listen to her voice for hours even if you was only reading the telephone directory.

She opened the letter and began to read.

'Oh the first bit is from Gran Gran'

_Dear Sybil,_

_Oh my darling so you have decided to take this challenge. So I guess you want to know about this letter. It was written by my Mother to Da after his proposal in York. She never sent it, never expected him to read it I guess. Da told me he found it amongst her things at Downton a few months after she died. It took him a while to read it, her passing was still too raw, but in the end he found comfort in it. A reminder of what they had had and an insight into what she was feeling after his shock proposal._

_He always said he hadn't meant to do it. Hadn't planned it that way. But he was scared, scared she would go off and meet someone else and forget about him. He just needed her to know how he felt. He had thought it's now or never, that he would regret not making his feelings clear. Da never was one to remain silent on a subject. He always told me he had wished it had been more romantic. Silly Da didn't realise it was the most romantic story I had ever heard._

_Well enjoy this little adventure my love,_

_Gran Gran_

_Dear Tom,_

_What were you thinking? There I've said it now. Here I am leaving home for the first time. My head full of what is ahead of me and you chose that moment to declare your feelings. To PROPOSE? At least I think that was a proposal? I mean you never actually said will you marry me? I've not had many proposals, that was in fact the first. I can certainly say it was not how I pictured it._

_Now I am left here in this dorm room in total shock. Not that you have feelings for me. I had guessed as much, dare I say hoped as much; in a schoolgirl crush kind of way. However, do you know what makes me really mad; I can't talk about it with anyone. The only person I could talk about such things is you; you have become the one I share my secrets with. I also know that makes no sense because to be honest if someone else had proposed to me, I do not think I could or would be able to share it with you. My head is just too full of stuff to decipher the reasons for that right now. And I know I'm blabbering but I'm really quite angry right now._

_I know that it used to be Mary I would tell my secrets to. However since I met you, I have realise that she, like the rest of the family, does not understand me. They have known me my whole life but you are the first person to take my thoughts seriously, to not just see me as a little girl to be placated and patted on the head. Mary wouldn't understand she is too stuck in her ways like Papa. God she wouldn't even marry Matthew in case he ended up poor and she loved him. What would she do if I told her I was in love with the Chauffeur? Not that I'm saying I am you understand. God I don't even know what I'm feeling._

_I'm trying to find my place in the world. Who I am and I don't think I can do that if I become a wife right now. I have barely seen anything of the world, what if what I feel for you isn't what I think it is. There I said it I do have feelings for you, I might even love you, but how can I be sure? What if it is just gratitude for you listening to me, paying me attention? It is not like I have many other male friends, it makes me wonder when I stopped seeing you as just the chauffeur or if I ever really saw you that way at all. The only other man I can think of is Matthew and the least said about my five second crush on him the better. God I still blush at the thought of it. What was I thinking?_

_I wish I could be like you take big risks and hang the consequences but I cannot, not right now, you are asking too much of me and for that I am sorry. Sorry that I'm not strong enough, maybe you have held me in too high a regard, maybe I am less than you thought. I do not know. This is too much for me right now but I need you to know something. I cannot imagine my life without you, having you to talk to about the things that go on inside my head or about the latest thing I have read. Just the thought of not being able to talk to you for the next two months makes my head hurt. _

_That is what I should have said to you, what I should of told you. Not that I was incredibly flattered. God did I really say that? It wasn't what I meant, I'm not even really sure what I meant, just not that. I wasn't saying no, I wasn't saying yes either. I guess I was saying wait. Wait if you can and let me make up my mind. I need to have time to get this right, it has to be right._

_Please, please don't leave Downton. I will never ever give you away, you must believe that. You will always be very dear to me whatever happens and I know that is not what you want to hear right now but it is all I have. I doubt you will ever read this, as I doubt I will have the courage to post it. However it has helped, I may never be able to say these things to you but I am able to write them down. Clear them from my head. For now I have to focus on being a nurse and hope that whatever we are is still there, when this blasted war is over._

_Forever your friend,_

_Always,_

_Sybil_

'Well that was quite a letter, she is right though not really what a guy wants to receive after a proposal' Tom broke the silence that had descended as she had finished reading

'Really? You don't think it would have given him hope?'

'Maybe I guess but maybe it is the impatient Branson blood in me that would think if she didn't say yes straight away, there wasn't much point, but then I'm not very good a relationships and there could be a reason for that' he added with a smile that didn't completely reach his eyes

'But he did stay and she did say yes in the end.'

'Arh but did he stay because he wanted to or because of circumstance, there was a war on, Ireland was hardly stable, perhaps he didn't have anywhere else to go'

'Well that's incredibly unromantic' she huffed

'It's real life love, this isn't a fairytale but I guess we will find out from the rest of the letters. Did she really tell him she was flattered when he proposed?'

'Yeah, Gran, Gran always said her Da cringed whenever he heard the word'

'Ouch, just what a guy wants to hear, I'm surprised he didn't run for the hills then.'

'Well I'm glad he didn't or I wouldn't be here'

'There is that'

'So I guess maybe you didn't inherit his romantic side?' She asked, internally her mind was telling her to stop flirting, going on about romance, it was dangerous territory.

'Maybe, Maybe not. I have my moments I'll have you know. But It's getting late and I should be making a move I guess?' Though, he didn't really want to. He could stay talking to her forever, and really just talking. Not that other stuff wasn't on his mind when he was around her. But if someone said you can just talk to her for the rest of our life nothing else, never anything else he couldn't be completely sure he would say no. Maybe he understood his relation more than he thought and perhaps Tom did stay all that time at Downton because he had loved his Sybil. He got up from the sofa and began to collect his stuff.

'It's been nice' she winced at her use of the word. God that's almost as bad as flattered she thought.

'Yes it's been lovely' he said with a smirk and she knew he was thinking the same thing. She gave him a smile and swatted his arm, his smirk grew into a grin, they where both on the same page, already in tune with each other.

'So, I guess I should return the favour, sometime, my flat, take away. You supply the letter and the wine?'

'Sounds good, I'm free on Friday' It was only a couple of days away, but she couldn't face not seeing him for that long. Whoa where did that come from? She thought. She tried to tell herself she was just impatient to read the next letter but failed miserably

'Friday?' he asked a little too quickly

'Oh too soon, well I guess I could...'

'No it fine, it's good actually, I'll text you my address.' He'd have to re-arrange his plans with the guys, but he realised that even in that short time he would miss her. So much for not getting in too deep he thought to himself. But as he leaned over to kiss her goodnight on the cheek, a move that took him by surprise as much as her, he realised that maybe that wasn't a bad thing. He pulled back looking directly in to her eyes and smiled, with that he was gone.

Sybil spent several minutes staring at the now closed door, her hand pressed to the cheek he had just kissed. Why was life so unfair? She thought I've made decisions things I can't go back on because I thought my life was set one way and then he comes along and messes it all up. The smart part of her brain told her to stop seeing him, to continue with the letters without him. But she knew she wouldn't. There was something about him that she didn't want to let go of until she had to. She knew that day would come she just hoped it wouldn't be too soon. Maybe one thing Tom and Sybil's story could teacher her was to live in the now.

Well I hope you liked it, let me know as reviews are the only thing that tells me whether anyone is reading this. I have a plan in my head but any ideas are welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this has taken awhile. Life got in the way and then some major writer's block. I'm not really happy with this part. I guess I know where the story is going further along the road but its getting them to that part and my head keeps wanted to write further into the story. Thanks to my reviewers they mean the world and please let me know what you think. If its still any good or not or if you think something is not working.**

Sybil reached up and knocked on the door to the flat. A few seconds passed and the door flew open. But she wasn't greeted by Tom.

"Hi, you must be Sybil'' said the very attractive girl in front of her. Sybil tried not to react, tried not to listen to the jealous voice inside her head. 'Who is she? Is she a girlfriend? That's none of your business; you have no claim on him. Her hear whispered back.

"TOM! Your girlfriend's here'' The girl suddenly shouted in a sing song voice.

"God Saoirse do you have to be so loud" Tom's voice came from the hall, as the door opened wider, revealing the man himself.

"Hi Sybil, please come in, ignore my bratty little sister, she just lives to annoy me"

At this Saoirse stuck out her tongue.

"Yes very mature" said Tom

Saoirse rolled her eyes

"Well big brother I'm off to get ready as I've been told to make myself scare for tonight, I wonder why?" she said and with a smile and a wink she was off.

"Sorry about that" he said as he took Sybil's coat "siblings can't live with them, can't kill them"

"I heard that" Came the reply from upstairs.

"I wouldn't know I'm an only child" said Sybil

"Oh how I wish, I'm one of four" replied Tom

"Four?" Sybil replied surprised

"What can I say, my parents had a very happy marriage, plus we are catholic, we tend to have big families its part of the rules"

"I always wanted a brother or sister, someone to share stuff with I guess."

"Hell I complain about them no end but I wouldn't have it any other way, even Saoirse, tho she does have the habit of turning up on my door step unannounced. That's why she's here tonight. I think she's had a falling out with Ma and Da over her latest boy toy"

"Bit dramatic to come all the way to London from Dublin over an argument"

"What can I say, always a bit of a drama queen that one. She ends up here every few months, should have known really, its been a little while"

"Maybe she just missed her big brother. I think I would miss you" she said with a smile walking further into the flat.

Tom tried to ignore the comment, tried not to read too much into it or the fact that it made his heart skip.

"So whatever's cooking smells delicious, but I thought we were getting take away?"

"What can I say, I'm a dab hand in the kitchen, plus I love to cook and don't get to do it properly that often, it not fun cooking for one."

"Tom, can you pick me up tonight" interrupted Saoirse entering the room.

"You can see I'm busy tonight" said Tom gesturing to Sybil with wide eyes, which said please don't embarrass me little sister or at least that was the look he was going for."Can't you get a taxi or something?"

"You really want me to let Ma and Da know you let me get into some strange mini cab, late at night in London" she pouted at him.

Sybil watched the exchange with interest, having never had any brothers or sisters; the dynamic was strange to her, but entertaining.

"Sorry sis, I left my phone at work. So how are you going to call me when you want picking up?" Tom said smugly

'gotcha' he thought

"She could take my number" he heard Sybil say behind him. His face fell.

"That perfect, thanks Sybil. I knew I was going to like you" They exchanged numbers and as Saoirse turned to leave she kissed Tom on the cheek "This ones a keeper, now don't screw it up" she whispered. Aloud she said "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, which to be fair doesn't leave much" The door slammed behind her.

Tom shook his head as if to clear evil thoughts of what his little sister got up to. He really didn't want to know.

"You didn't really want her to get a taxi did you?" Sybil asked

"No, no it just I really don't like the thought of her winning, tho I should be used to it by now" he added with a sigh

"That was amazing" said Sybil patting her stomach as Tom cleared the plates away. "Where did you learn to cook like that?"

"I realised after the first year of Uni, that if I didn't learn to cook and stop eating take away every night, I was going to be twice my size by the end of third year. It was built out of necessity and then I found I quite liked it." He said sitting down beside her again.

"So I guess we should read the next letter" Said Sybil, taking it out the envelope and studying it. "I think this one is from Tom. There is a note from Gran, Gran, should I read again?" Tom nodded.

_Dear Sybil_

_Letter number two; I'm so glad you are continuing Darling. This is from my Da to my Mother. It was written sometime during the First World War. When my Mother had yet to give him an answer and the world seemed to him to be conspiring against him. Da had grand plans to embarrass the British Army when he was called up, but a problem with his heart put pay to all that, lucky to be honest. Da was a wonderful and kind man, but he was hot headed and that got him in trouble on more than one occasion as you will see._

_My love always,_

_Gran, Gran_

_Dear Sybil,_

_I don't know where to begin; only that I'm an eejit but we both know that already. It seems strange to write a letter to you, but as you will barely talk to me I don't have much of a choice. I know I've been acting odd these past few months and I don't really know why. Eh that's a lie; I know why I just don't really know how to explain it._

_I guess I'm frustrated and a little lost. This is not how I pictured my life to be. It was to go to England earn some money and then return home to fight for freedom. Not to end up lovesick and pining over some girl. Sorry that isn't fair; you are not just some girl. You are the loveliest, most amazing woman I have ever met. I just did not expect to meet you now. Hell I'm not sure I ever thought I'd meet you. To me love was for other people, not for me. I was not going fall in love, not going to get tied down and partially not with a Lady from a fine house. But you cannot help who you fall in love with. Can you?_

_But I'm getting off track as none of this really explains my behaviour. Here I am telling you to bet on me and that I will devote every waking moment to your happiness. Then I'm off making plans that will get me arrested. What kind of future can I offer you then? I guess my only explanation is that I had given up. I'd given up on Ireland, given up on you, the two great loves of my life. It did not matter if I ended prison because at least in some little way I would have made a stand._

_We both know there was no way I was going to fight, this isn't my country and I won't give my life for it and at that moment it was that or prison. I can't fight for an army that killed my cousin. Shot him in cold blood and never apologised. So I came up with my plan and then my body let me down._

_Its as if someone up there is playing a joke on me. They bring me here and show me you, show me what my life could be like with you beside me. But then they tell me oh lad she's not for the likes of you, you can't have that. So I make a new choice for my life, but again I'm told no. Do you understand my frustration now?_

_I'm just sorry I took it out on you, my crack about your work was unforgivable, I was angry. But you don't hear what the officers say about you when you are not there and you really don't want to. The stupid thing is. They could probably court you if they wanted. I bet your father would approve of a fine officer asking for his daughter's hand but not me. You choose me and like you said you have to give up everything and I know that is scary. What is scarier is the thought of you not choosing me. Of us never finding out how wonderful our life could be together. Deep down I believe you love me. I have to otherwise what do I have left?_

_I apologise if my words to you have seemed pressured. I do not mean to force your decision. It is something that you must come to on your own. You need to decide what it is you feel for me, if anything and I know I cannot rush that, even if at times I try._

_I hope my ramblings have made sense, forgive me it is late and my mind has been full of these thoughts for so long. You do not need to answer this letter; we never have to talk of it if you wish. But please talk to me. I miss our conversations, I miss us, whatever us is._

_Always_

_Tom_

"What was that about his body letting him down" asked Sybil

"Heart murmur, when he was called up they found it and he couldn't join the army, I remember my Da telling me, he knows a little of the family history." Tom answered. "He must really have loved her to stay for that long without any hope she returned his feelings. He must of thought at times he was going mad, believing in something for so long without hope."

"I guess it hard to understand if you never felt that way about someone. It must have been difficult for her too. She was so young and sheltered she can't of known what she was feeling. Or at least whether she should trust it or not." Said Sybil thoughtfully.

It was at that moment that Tom realised how close they were sitting on the sofa. Their legs almost touching, as if they had subconsciously, been draw together while reading the letter. They both looked up at the same moment and he was lost. The next thing he knew his mouth was on hers, both sharing their first kiss.

"Stop, wait we can't do this" she said pulling away and quickly standing

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't of done that, it was my fault" Tom said wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Trying to make sense of the scramble in his brain.

"No, no that was me as much as you. Its just I shouldn't of done that, I'm not allowed I'm …I'm, I'm sort of engaged." She confessed not able to look at him.

Tom looked up shocked

"How can you be sort of engaged?"

"He is an old family friend. I've known him all my life. My parents have always liked the idea of us being a couple and he was always keen on me. I guess I was broken hearted after a relationship ended badly and because I knew him, we sort of fell into dating. I feel safe with him, he is good to me. So when he asked me to marry him I kinda said yes"

"Kinda?"

"He's away, out of the country at the moment, he told me to think about it. It would solve a lot of problems for my family. He is very rich. He could help my father's business"

"So you are selling yourself" said Tom disgusted

"Its not like that, that not the only reason I think I want to marry him. He is sweet and kind and he loves me. Maybe I'm just like Sybil. Maybe I love him and I just don't know it"

"If you loved him would you have kissed me?"

"Oh I don't know, I'm just so confused right now" She said sitting down putting her head in her hands. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to drag you into all this, I guess it means the project is over. Its sad I was enjoying sharing it with someone." She gave him a sad smile

"Hey, who said anything about the project. If I promise to keep my hands to myself we can continue right? I mean we are friends right?"

"Friends? Yeah course we are" she said trying to pretend that didn't sound hollow to her.

"I mean, we can continue this until I leave"

"Leave?" she asked looking straight into his eyes for first time since the kiss.

"Yeah, well it might not be straight away, but it could be soon. I've been trying to get into journalism for a while. I've realised you have to start small, local I guess and London isn't working for me. So I applied further a field. I have an interview up in York in a few weeks. I guess I'll be moving there if I get it."

"Moving to York?" Sybil ignored the pain in her heart that this news gave her.

"Maybe" He said with a sad smile "Look Sybil…" At that moment Sybil's phone started to ring.

"It's your sister" she said handing him the phone

As he spoke to Saoirse, Sybil fetched her coat and when he hung up she was obviously ready to leave.

"Time to head out, I'll give you a call in the week about the next letter. Dinner was lovely by the way. Say bye to Saoirse for me."

And with that she was gone. Tom sat on the sofa for a few moments, before he went to collect Saoirse. Tonight had not gone as expected. He didn't know what he'd expected. But engaged, never that. He hadn't really meant to tell her about York not tonight any way, but it seemed the best protection. To make it seem that he didn't mind either way, when in fact inside a little part of his heart had just broken. She was taken, she would never be his. He wasn't sure completely that he wanted her to be his, but he would have liked the chance to find out. She had said she would call but he wondered if he would ever see her again.

**What did you think? Please review as your thoughts will help me improve.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yeah another part. As ever all mistakes are mine. Thanks for my two reviews they mean a lot, I just wish I had more idea if anyone was enjoying this or not. Please let me know how you think it's going. FYI the rating has gone up. I don't think there is really anything here, just better safe than sorry.**

It had been almost a week since she had seen him. She kept telling herself it was for the best. That she should stay away. She knew he had said he wanted to continue the project. That he said would keep his distance, his hands to himself. But the trouble was she wasn't sure she wanted him to or that she could trust herself around him for that matter.

She may not have seen him, but most of her day seemed to be filled with thoughts of him. The way he smiled, the way he laughed, the sound of his voice. He preoccupied her thoughts like no other man ever had. It was a cruel joke really, the main reason she was considering marrying Lewis. 'God had she even told Tom his name' she thought she didn't think so. Maybe that said it all. Her main reason for even thinking about it was the fact that she never really seemed to feel anything very much. Her girlfriends would wax lyrical about their latest boy toy and how they couldn't live without them and wanted to be with them every minute. Whereas Sybil could take them or leave them most the time, relationships came and went and she was never that upset or attached when they ended.

It had been as she had told Tom a bad breakup that had led her finally into Lewis Grey's arms. The Grey's had been family friends for as long as she could remember. In fact they had been associated with her family for years, she briefly wondered if her great, great grandmother had known a Grey. Maybe he had tried to court her, as they would have said, as Lewis had her. Wouldn't that be strange? To be honest the coincidences, between the Sybil and Tom of then and the Sybil and Tom of now made her head hurt if she thought too long on them. 'The main difference is Tom and I aren't in love? Are we?' She chose not answer that question.

Anyway Lewis had always wanted to be more than friends, Sybil had always known this, but she had never felt what she thought she should. So instead of ruining a friendship and causing issues with her family she kept him at arm's length. When she talked of her broken heart. It was broken but not in the way most would think. Her boyfriend at the time had cheated on her and with one of her good friends. This had hurt, but what had broken her heart was the realisation that she should have felt more. She should have been crying and screaming and wanting to kill them. Instead she felt very little and most of that had been relief. From this she drew her own conclusions. Maybe just maybe she didn't feel like everyone else did. Maybe it wasn't in her nature to be passionate and romantic. She loved romantic stories and the idea of romance but it never seemed to translate in to her life at all. Maybe companionship was all she could hope for and that if she held out for more, waiting to feel it, whatever it was, she was scared she might end up alone.

So when Lewis asked her out again, this time she went with it. At least he was nice; they had known each other for so long, that at least they could kinda have a laugh together. Okay so he wasn't the most interesting of guys, but did that really matter, if she couldn't feel what she was supposed to at least she could be with someone she liked, who treated her well. Then he asked her to marry him. She hadn't said no. She hadn't said yes either. He had taken it well, told her to take her time. He was going away on business for a couple of months and would like an answer on his return. Sybil still had no idea what that should be. He had emailed her a few times since he had left, but apart from that he was giving her space to make up her mind.

But then Tom entered her life and for the first time she wondered. Wondered if this was it? If this was what other people felt. She seemed to always want to be with him, near him, to hear his voice, what he was thinking. The last few days had been torture. So many times she had picked up the phone to call him, but found herself unable to do it. It wasn't fair to Lewis. She had made a commitment to him that she should see through and she could hardly tell him in an email or over the phone. And what of her family? Lewis could really help her father with the business. She knew it wasn't a reason to marry someone, but it still mattered. Briefly she wondered when she had started putting everyone else's feelings above her own, when her own happiness had become a secondary point. She wished she had more time to sort out how she felt. But Tom's bombshell that he was possibly moving put pay to that. What if she let him go? What if she never felt like this again? Would it be for the best? But then what if what she was feeling wasn't right? What if in a couple of weeks she was over it? Then she would have thrown away everything for nothing. Her head said to forget him, but her heart just ached.

So this was why she had been sat on her sofa for twenty minutes. The latest letter held in her hand. Telling herself she was going to continue without him. That she needed to do this now alone, that they were victims of bad timing and that she needed to move on. She had made decisions and set her life on a course that she needed to stick to. With her mind made up she finally opened the next letter.

_Dear Sybil,_

_How are you my darling? It is odd writing these notes, to think that they will be my last words to you. That you will not read them till after I am gone. I feel that I should add something profound. That I should somehow tell you the secrets to life. Unfortunately I have no idea what they are. Except that you should grasp life with both hands, something that I fear you do not do. I don't know why but I noticed the fight go out of you in the last few years. As if you had given up, I fear you are settling my dear and the thought of that pains me._

_Anyway enough with the lecture, I'm dead now so you don't have to listen to me anymore. This next letter is from my Mother. It was written around a worrying time for the family. Matthew had been injured in the war and it was thought he would never walk again. William one of the footmen of the house had also been injured while protecting Matthew. Unfortunately there was nothing that could be done for him and he was coming home to die. I guess this made the war all the more real for the family and my Mother all the more scared and confused about her own feelings for my Da._

_Love always_

_Gran, Gran_

_Dear Tom,_

_Sometimes you can be the most infuriating man I have ever met. Matthew is lying in a hospital bed and William is upstairs dying and still you badger me for an answer. As if you are the only thing I have to think about right now. I know I am not being entirely fair to you, but sometimes you do make me so angry. I feel calmer now I have said that._

_You confuse me so much. On one hand you talk about us, me being in love with you and wanting to run away with me. Then you seem to treat me with the contempt you reserve for the rest of my so called class. Belittling my job and questioning my ability to feel. Your words sting and I still haven't quite forgiven you for them._

_I know you are frustrated. I also know I am in part to blame. I read your letter countless times and I do thank you for it. At least now I understand a little more of what is going on inside that head of yours and your behavior recently._

_I am sorry that I caused you to feel that way. Please do not give up hope of Ireland. I know one day she will be free and you will be able to see it. Please do not give up on me. As I said just because we hide our feelings does not mean we do not have them. What I feel for you is complicated and confusing. I need to be sure of it before I can act. If I am not it could mean breaking both of our hearts and that just will not do. Sometimes a hard sacrifice is needed for a future that is worth having, but should we not be sure of ourselves before we take that leap._

_I do have one question. In the garage did you want to kiss me? I think I wanted to kiss you but I'm not sure. Would it have answered my million questions or would it have confused me more. I guess I need to keep a clear head and I feel it would lead to madness and danger. Once we crossed that line would we be able to stop, would we want to?_

_I know I keep asking for time and it is not fair but I do not know what else to do. The only thing I am sure of as always is that I thank God every day for bring you in to my life. My life would have been very dull without you. Whatever we end up being to each, please believe me in that._

_Your confused friend_

_Always_

_Sybil_

BANG, BANG.

"Alright, Alright I'm coming keep your hair on" said Tom tying his dressing grown tighter around him, attempting to keep the cold out.

BANG BANG the loud knocking at his front door continued.

"Okay, Okay!" He had been wrapped up in bed enjoying a pleasant dream about a certain girl he tried in his waking hours not to think about "Don't you know it's the middle of the nig.." He stopped mid-sentence as he opened the door. For there was the girl who haunted his dreams, be them day or night. "Sybil?"

"Sorry, Tom I know it's late but this couldn't wait. Can I come in?" She looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. "Oh God I'm sorry Tom where you in bed?"

"Well Sybil it is" He said looking at his watch." One in the morning" he answered with a raised eyebrow.

She looked up at him shocked. "Oh God" she looked panicked. "I'm so sorry, I must have lost track of time, I shouldn't have come, I should go" She turned to leave but he grabbed her arm. They both paused for a second, staring at where their bodies connected. Both lost in the sensations it caused.

"Sybil it's the middle of the night if you think I'm letting you go out alone, you're crazy. This is London for Christ sakes, anything could have happen. You are here now you might as well come in." He added with a smile.

Sybil slipped off her coat and moved towards his living room. What she was doing she had no clue. She just knew when she looked up from the letter that she needed to see him. She was so used to sharing them with him. To discussing them, that it had felt wrong when he had not been there. But it was more than that. She missed him, missed him more than she thought it was possible. It was pathetic really it had only been a few days.

"So I guess you are wondering what I'm doing here" she asked sheepishly. Unable to look at him she started to find, his DVD collection very interesting.

"It had crossed my mind"

Willing herself to stop being such a coward, she turned to face him. "I read another letter tonight, I was trying to continue without you"

At this his face fell "I knew you would" he smiled to himself but there was no joy in it just understanding.

"It was from Sybil, She was so confused, so unsure of her feelings, so scared to act. I found myself wanting to talk about it with you, but you weren't there"

"That's not my fault is it?" he asked confused "you wanted to carry on without me."

"I know Tom, but don't you see…."

"Look Sybil, I know the letters are important to you, they are to me too, but its late and we should really get some sleep. He knew he was being short with her, but it was really too much for him right now. He was sleepy and confused. None of this was so important it couldn't wait till morning; he was still baffled by what she was doing here. "You take my bed and I'll sleep her on sof…" He was cut off mid-sentence, as her lips descended on his. For a brief moment he hesitated, caught off guard, but then he surrendered to her talented mouth. After several moments, they broke the kiss. Both breathing heavily staring at each other shocked. Tom was the first to speak.

"Sybil, what are you? What are we? What about..?" She silenced him by placing her finger to his lips. Shaking her head slightly.

"Shh, I don't want to think about any of that stuff right now. I just want you"

"Are you sure Sybil?"

"Tom, take me to bed" she commanded

He didn't need telling twice.

Sybil lay her head on Tom's chest, playing softly with his chest hair. "Well that was .. Wow"

"Glad to see you have no complaints" Tom answered "I do try my best" he said cockily but with a teasing edge to it. "So I guess it isn't like this with you fiance?" He asked quietly not really wanting to bring him up but unable to stop himself

"Well no, I mean we haven't actually done it yet"

Tom sat up quickly panicked, accidentally, dislodging Sybil from her comfy spot. "Sybil you don't mean, you weren't a.." he said raking his hands through his hair. "You should have told me, I would have done things differently, I would have.."

Sybil, raised herself up on her knees turning to face him, suddenly understanding his distress. She grabbed his hand forcing him to look him in the eye. She couldn't resist leaning in to give him a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Relax Tom you haven't just de-flowered a virgin. Me and Lewis haven't had sex yet, but there were others before him."

Tom visibly relaxed dropping back to his original pose. Smiling to herself Sybil laid her head back on his chest, continuing her play.

"Others? How many?" He asked

She looked up at him.

"Do you really want to know?"

"No not really" He kissed the top of her head. "So Lewis? Your fiance?"

"Well not exactly, I haven't said yes yet"

"You haven't said no either"

She looked up at him again. At the sad look in his eyes that she just wanted to kiss away, so she did just that. "Look Tom, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have no idea what this is. Can't we just enjoy it for a while? You said it yourself you are leaving soon. Can't we just have the time now and not worry about the future."

He smiled down at her but it didn't fully reach his eyes. "We can do that" he replied "Now get some sleep" he said reaching over and turning off the light and settling down wrapping one arm around her waist. As he fell towards sleep, he decided that he would take what he could get, if that was what she wanted, that even if he could only have her for a little while that would be okay. He tried to ignore the voice inside his head telling him that would never be enough.

Sybil lay in the darkness listening to his gentle breathing. Trying to pretend to that she would ever be able walk away from this man.

**Thanks for reading. Please review**.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm so sorry it has been so long. A combination of writer's block and life just getting in the way. Any way hope you enjoy and hope it was worth the wait. As ever all mistakes are mine. Please let me know if you see any, I know there are a few in the last part I need to correct but I haven't got around to it yet. I always loved writing stories, but grammar and spelling was never one of my strong points, so corrections are welcome. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews on the last part, I know everyone always says it but they mean a lot and each one is always special.

Sybil awoke from a blissful dream, eyes blinking at the sun which shone through the window, streaming across her face. The last week had been heavenly, more amazing than she ever thought possible. She hadn't known it was supposed to be like this, at least not for her. A gentle snore could be heard from her companion, lying next to her, still deeply in his land of nod.

She had discovered in the last few days that she loved to watch him sleep. She could lay there for hours perfectly entertained, by his luckily relatively quiet, snoring. He looked so peaceful and young without a care in the world and in those moments she could believe that he was hers forever. That nothing would ever come between them. She knew deep down that that wasn't true. At some point their lives would catch up, but it was good to pretend, at least for a while.

She slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping boy, and padded quietly towards the kitchen intent on making him breakfast in bed. She didn't cook granted but she could do toast or something she guessed. She surveyed the kitchen wondering where to start.

"So you're shagging my brother now are you?" came a voice from behind her

Sybil nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Saoirse, you nearly gave me a heart attack" said Sybil hand placed over her heart visibly trying to slow her breathing.

"Sorry" said Saoirse with a smile that revealed she was anything but. "Couldn't resist, no wonder he cheered up so quickly." She smiled shaking her head.

"I didn't know you were over from Ireland, Tom didn't say anything"

"Probably because he doesn't know. I came over last night, didn't have the chance to tell him. Plus it's harder for him to say no when I'm actually here. He is always saying he is going to take my key off me, but he never does"

"Probably because he knows your safer here than roaming around London."

"That's true. So you and my big brother, who would have thunk it? Well me obviously, after having to listen to him go on and on about you." Said Saoirse with a roll of her eyes.

"He spoke about me?" Sybil said surprised.

"Yes it was Sybil this and Sybil that, so I guess you and him, been going on for about a week or so?"

"Yes how did you know?"

"Well he was quiet heartbroken up till then, like a bear with a sore head on the phone. Then all of a sudden, he was back to being normal happy Tom. I guessed you might be the cause." Sybil smiled at this, glad that she seemed to make him as happy as he made her.

"I'm making him breakfast in bed, or attempting to at least." Said Sybil, looking warily around the kitchen.

"He told me you know" said Saoirse, suddenly turning serious; Sybil raised her eyebrows in question. "About Lewis? Is that his name?" Sybil turned beet red and began fiddling with the plates.

"Saoirse I um I" Sybil mumbled.

"Hey Its not any of my business" she said, lifting her hands in surrender. "But he's my big brother and if you hurt him, I will have to hurt you."

"I wouldn't expect anything less" said Sybil with a small smile.

"Just be careful he can act tough, but he's a big puppy dog really and he's fallen hard for you already. Just please be straight with him, that's all I ask."

"He's lucky to have a sister like you"

"Just keep reminding him of that, he seems to forget when I do something to annoy him" said Saoirse with a wink. "Anyhow I'll leave you too lovebirds to it, it was bad enough last night, there are some things a little sister should never ever hear, I may never recover" She sighed dramatically.

Sybil turned red at this, Saoirse just smiled, turned and headed for the front door.

"I think we may have scared your baby sister for life." Said Sybil returning to Tom's room, her woeful attempt at breakfast held out on a tray in front of her.

"Saoirse? She's here?"

"She was till about five minutes ago, and most of last night" Said Sybil wincing

"Oh opps" he said with a smile "well that will teach her, to visit unannounced" biting back a laugh. "Oh you made breakfast ?" He asked nervously tipping his head towards the tray.

"I tried" she said ruefully "You don't have to eat it"

As Sybil put down the tray, she noticed the letter lying on the bedside table.

"Hey" She said sitting on the bed placing the tray beside her. "This was in my bag" she picked up the letter waving it at him. He crawled over to her putting his arms around her from behind and his head on her shoulder.

"Technically it was on top off your bag, I thought we should take it out, we have been neglecting them lately" he whispered into her ear.

"Oh have we?" she exclaimed turning her head so she could meet his eyes. "Well that your fault you've been distracting me" She said raising her eyebrows.

"Oh I have, have I" He pulled her down on top of him, careful not to knock the tray, as she giggled, he kissed her soundly. They were lost again in each other for several minutes, until they heard a crash. Sybil looked up from the bed; the contents of the tray now scatted over his bedroom floor.

"See, distracting" She said with an arched eyebrow, poking him in the chest.

"Oh sorry love, your lovely breakfast" he said ruefully.

She narrowed her eyes at him "You're not sorry at all, you don't trust my cooking"

"I didn't plan it, but would you hate me if I said I'm not exactly sure I'm sorry" he said truthfully. "It's the thought that counts and it was a very nice thought" he added.

She looked down at the floor scrunching up her nose. "It's no great loss, but you are buying me breakfast now" she said leaning down to kiss him.

"Okay, but letter first, or I might distract you again."

She smiled and reluctantly pulled herself off him, scrambling across the bed to pick up the letter. Tom made himself comfortable propped up against the headboard and Sybil then returned to her favourite place, laying down her head on Tom's chest.

"There is nothing from Gran Gran with this, Its a letter from Tom, Maybe you should read it out" she said handing him the letter.

"But you normally read them, I like listening to you" he wined

"Well maybe, just maybe, I think you have a really, really sexy voice and I want to hear you read to me" She said playing with the hairs on his chest, which she had learnt over the last week made him crazy. "Please, you owe me for breakfast" she said pouting and looking up at him with big eyes, which she had also learnt he couldn't resist

"Okay, okay" He said grabbing the letter and rolling his eyes. "If you insist".

Sybil smiled sweetly at him and placed her head back on his chest ready to listen.

_Dear Sybil,_

_I still can't believe I'm writing this. I don't really know why I am. I guess I need to make sense of what just happened. I need to know that it was real and was not one of my many dreams. I have dreamt of you for so long, I am scared that I have finally gone out of my mind._

_Did you just except my proposal? Did I finally kiss you? Please tell me its true, because my heart can't take it, if it is not. Deep down I know it is, from the beating of my heart and the singing in my soul. You will be my wife and we will be married, but I have waiting so long for those words, I can scarcely believe it true._

_I know running away is drastic but I cannot see another way. If we tell I am sure your Family will never allow us to marry, but if we are already, there is nothing they can do. They will not be able to take you away from me. They will not be able to force us apart. I will do whatever you want Sybil. I told you I will wait forever and I shall. Just please don't make forever too long. I am not sure my heart can take it_

_Yours forever my love_

_Tom_

Sybil sighed "God Tom was so romantic and sweet"

"Are you saying I'm not?" Tom questioned her with a raised eyebrow.

"Well you did just ruin my lovingly prepared breakfast" pouted Sybil but there was laugher in her eyes.

"I think you will find that was the both of us, it not just me who does the distracting around here Miss Crawley." He said, picking her up by the elbows and kissing her.

"Thought you were going to buy me breakfast?" She asked as he started to kiss down her neck.

"Later" he panted between kisses. "Got some distracting to do first."

Sybil giggled. Yeah she never thought it could be like this and she planned to hold on to it as long as she could. He was still leaving and she was still sort of engaged to another man. But in this moment, in any moment they shared in fact, none of that seemed to matter.

Please review, they keep me writing. Hopefully it won't be as long between parts next time.


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